Expectations

I talked to my little 11 year old brother this morning. He is adorable. This is going to sound super horrible, but, I forget how much I love him sometimes! lol He lives upstate and we don't really keep in constant contact. For a while it had to do with the fact that he was so young and it was hard to have a conversation longer than five minutes. Now, he understands concepts and is a smart little booger.

I sometimes wonder about what is the best way to raise a child. Stern, not stern, rules, no rules, which rules, learning, schooling, best schools, public schools, private...so many different factors. I know I'm not his mother but we have such a huge age difference that I want to be the best asset to his life. He has me for a sister! Someone who naturally counsels people in life! So he should be a lot farther in his personal development. I kinda blame myself a little bit. Knowing how my mother is, her poor parenting skills, I should have known to have made more of an effort to curb her influence.

We had a nice chat and I hope he listens to at least 5% of what I say, because knowing that %5 more is better than when I went through it and had no advantages at all.

I'm starting to get nervous about money and employment. I'm trying for it not to get the best of me, but omg, I'm starting my third week of unemployment. I've been to a lot of interviews with a lot of undecided companies who want to keep interviewing until the end of time!! It doesn't help my favorite recruiting agency told me that we are the slowest hiring period of the year, after christmas week!!!!! It makes me feel like I should have blown the whistle sooner, or later, or at least tried to get fired so I could get unemployment benefits :'(